According to Jer, Part IIIV

[Jer addressing Ben after he took a DVD out of the player and loaded one of his favorite {his Bible DVD}.}

Jer: Ben you can't load DVD's. You're only two. Besides, if you load DVD's when your only two, I don't know what you're gonna do when you're six.

Publish Post

According to Jer, Part IIV

{Overheard conversation between Jeremy and Ben}

Ben: Dramatically crying

J: "Son, you don't eat bananas while you roll around in a tunnel."

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{Recent conversation between Jeremy and I regarding our new endeavor to start composting}

Me: "I know what will keep the boys outta the compost pile!"

J: "What? Sharks with laser beams on their heads?!"

According to Jer, Pt. VII

[Jer: While "reffing" the WWF match that was occurring on the living room floor.]

"Benjamin!!! No biting! Remember, we don't fight with our mouths, we fight with our hands!"

Lovely.

According to Jer, Part. V

[Jer: Upon opening Abe's messy diaper and finding an EXTREMELY disturbing...eh...color...]

"Ah! What did we eat today, Mister?! Coffee? Tar? Shredded Death?"

Good gracious. I love this man and his bust-a-gut commentary.

And just because I know inquiring minds will want to know, the answer was blueberries. And it will be a LOOOOOOONG time before I give those to The Deuce again.

According to Jer...

After moving Abraham for the FIFTH time (after which he would just proceed to climb over his crying brother and anything else in the way to try and get back to our towering entertainment center) an exasperated Jeremy loudly exclaimed, "Abe is just like Evil Knievel, only more Evil and less Knievel."

Yup. That pretty much sums up our boy.

According to Jer, Pt. IV

The reason for starting this blog is to not only to keep friends and family up to date on our ever growing and changing boys but also to document this crazy time in our lives called "parenting." With the fun natured spirit of that statement in mind, I write the following...

I preface the first story by saying in my 26 years of living, I think my toes have remained unpainted for all of about 20 seconds. Those closest to me understand the pain that unpainted toes cause me. It's like peanut butter with no jelly. Bread with no butter. You get the point, it just doesn't work. A new era has dawned in our house though and it's called children.

So we're sitting on the couch talking and enjoying our morning together when Jeremy says to me, "Hey, babe?"

To which I adoringly reply, "Yes, love?"

[J]"Um, do you think you could paint those? Your feet look like they are dead."

Ahem, not my most shining moment. Now do you see why I've kept them painted for so long?! I wonder if a red Sharpie would ease the cadaver like state of my footsies. Permanant and color. Now there's a thought.

Later that night or maybe even the next day, I guilted convinced Jer into changing a poopy diaper. I for sure might have even brought up the "dead feet comment" to help pursuade him to do it. Anyway, he agrees, does it like a champ, and even offers to rinse it for me. After he had been gone for a few minutes I decided to go check on him and make sure everything was okay. It wasn't. I walked by the bathroom only to see Jer stooped over the white bathroom rug and he was FURIOUSLY scrubbing. He didn't even look up when he blurted out "The poop, I dropped the poop." I could do nothing more. I instantly grabbed my stomach and preceeded to laugh until I was crying. He on the other hand did not find the situation to be quite as funny. I don't think he'll be rinsing diapers anytime soon either.

My, oh my, how children change your life.

According to Jer and Sar, Pt. III

[Jer and I, in the spare bedroom, talking about Christmas gifts that are stored in there.]

"Bam"

[Looking at each other blankly, but resuming conversation.]

"Bam"

[Me]

"What was that??"

[Jer]

"It sounded like someone's hitting the outside of the house."

"Bam...bam...bam...bam...bam"

At which point, we both rush to the living room only to find Abe crawling, headfirst, into the wall over and over...and over.

He's going to be a genius. I just know it.

According to Jer, Pt. II

It's always humerous to me how I find the sentimental side to our boys activities and Jeremy finds the practical. Case in point: Last night, Jer was feeding the boys squash for the first time. When I say for the first time, I mean feeding them at all! He was trying with all his might to perfect the two mouth feed with minimal mess but was failing miserably. The boys had it ALL over their face. He would spoon it in. They would spit it out. He would swipe the spoon across their face packing it back in then wipe them with a wet cloth. Well there I was sitting there watching him thinking to myself how beautiful it was to watch my husband feed the boys. How this was a "bonding" experience. I envisioned future McDonald's trips and sharing hot dogs at the ballgame, when Jeremy suddenly blurts out, "This isn't so bad, it's kind of like grouting tile!"

Sheesh. But I couldn't help but laugh. Yeah, I guess it is a little like grouting tile.

According to Jer...

[Jer while assembling the boys new sports themed mobile that HE carefully picked out]

"This stupid random red ball is supposed to go in the middle of the mobile, but I'm going to put the football in the middle because football is the ULTIMATE sport. Also, you're lucky I'm leaving this soccer ball on here."

Well, okay then.

And that's exactly how I found it a couple hours later when I went in to get the boys up from their nap. I guess there's nothing like passing your own biases onto your children. : )