Monday, May 23, 2011

Dear Benjamin,

Lately, you've been needing less of a nap than your sleep loving brothers, so we've been spending a great majority of each afternoon together in the front yard. 
I have to say the time alone with you, my son, my firstborn and bearer of your late grandfather's name, has been nothing short of a sweet blessing and has left me in awe of how much you are growing and maturing. 
Sometimes we talk about the neighbors walking by or a barking dog  up the street and sometimes we just water alongside one another in solitude. It really doesn't matter to you. You are content, so long as you are near your momma. 
I wish I could express to you how much these afternoons mean to me, sun shining on your face, lashes illuminated as you laugh at a butterfly or chase after the kitty. How I wish I could make you understand what unadulterated joy it brings me to watch you watching a honey bee move from flower to flower or the look on your face when you set the hose down and  the cold water catches your shoeless feet. 

How I'm thankful that these nap sacrificed days are helping me to get to know you that much better, to spend time exploring what interests just you, or to just slow down and take in life with no agenda. 
After all, one can't exactly enjoy an apple while watching ants crawl by with an agenda, as you so aptly remind me when I try to get a little yard work done on the side.   
You are a treasure, entrusted to me by the Lord. And as much as I may not want to say it, I must. Thank you for not napping, my precious, precious boy.   
Momma loves you.
My Growing Gift List
Time with the firstborn
Apples, crisp and cold
Sun kissed eyelashes
Laughter from my boy
Grass on bare feet
Sunlight through tree branches
Ants in a line
Shuggles {a.k.a. shovels} and digging with the boy
Living seamlessly, choring and teaching and weaving in the graces of God
Water flowing cool and clear
Front yard play-dates with the neighbors until the daddies get home
Wonder in the mundane
Momma love 


Rochelle said...

what sweet words! someday he will grow up and treasure them :).

Theresa Miller said...

This is so precious! Way to thoroughly embrace change and see it as a gift. That truly is a gift!

Anonymous said...

The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers."

Auntie Deb

Anonymous said...

I am in awe of what you actually get to experience, whether in moments or days. I moved through so quickly with raising my children, I missed some of this. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for awakeness to us all!


Anonymous said...

Great stuff!

You, on the other hand, would never let those poor little ants pass. Instead, you would squash them flat every time (and laugh about it).

Aunt Kim said...

Just keep observing those littlest of moments as I am sure you have come to realize..they grow-up so very fast.