Well folks,
As you all well know, my wife Sarah and I have been trying to conceive a child for what seems like an eternity. After many months of "temping", stressing, and praying, God has decided in all his wisdom and grace to bless us with not only one, but two children! We are a little intimidated; a little scared, but very grateful.
Thanks to everyone who has contributed to our cause through prayer, cards, kind words, etc. We are endeared to each one of you and really do appreciate your support.
Please be sure to check the site for updated pics of Sarah's progress!
Thanks again and God Bless!
Jeremy aka J-Money
Mayor of Sloansburg
1 comment:
Hey there J-Money and, ahem....Most Gracious First Lady...Here are some good sound parenting homework assignments to squeeze in between little sleep and lots of activity next March!
Make multiple # of copies of those beautiful, curly red-headed, first string top notch, and freckle-faced soccer players' birth certificates and send copies to each of the following:
GERBER BABY FOOD: call them @1-800-443-7237 and ask them about their multiple birth programs and they will send you coupons for baby food. Keep in mind, the empty baby food jars are an especially valuable garage commodity for storing nuts, bolts, screws, washers and soccer cleats. Honorable Mayor…keep your fingers out of the banana pudding.
BEECHNUT BABY FOOD: call them @1-800-523-6633 they will send you a booklet on feeding your baby and coupons for baby food. It has been reported that Beechnut Baby Food contains lots of extra iron and helps babies maintain a healthy amber tint in curly red hair. Make sure that if you redeem one of these coupons at Circle-K, you don’t purchase the chewing tobacco by the same name.
Talk about a run-on sentence…HEINZ BABY FOOD: call them @1-800-872-2229 and they will send you coupons: besides we can all use another bottle of catsup in the ol’ fridgerator (good on tater tots hamburger helper and fried spam which, by the way, will become Sloansburg nutritional staples as soon as the Huggies Corporation starts invoicing you at about $4K a month at a dollar a diaper).
Speaking of spam…MEAD JOHNSON/ENFAMIL: call them @ 1-800-222-9123 to inquire about their multiple birth programs. They’ll market Sloansberg demographic information on the internet so fast you’ll have to buy a new server.
PUBLIX BABY CLUB: fill out a form at the supermarket and you will receive a newsletter and free coupons until those little 19 inch, 6 and ½ pounders turn age 2. Whoopdedoo! It’s a good thing those coupons can be used at Walmart! And, if that’s not enough, then they have a new program for ages 3 & 4 called Publix Preschool Pals. That’s scary!
ECKERD BABY CARE CLUB: they offer 10% off regular price formula, infant accessories and Eckerd brand baby products. Let’s just hope the little buggers can drink milk! Have you ever smelled a soy fart?
WINN DIXIE BABY REWARDS CLUB: fill out an online form at www.winndixie.com or get a form from a grocery store. Purchasing Winn Dixie products will ensure that those two little identicals will grow up to be NASCAR fans extraordinaire! Heck, if we’re down south lucky, they may even develop a little “OkieN’awlins” drawl!
PAMPERS/LUVS: call them after my grandbabies are born, and ask about their multiple birth program 1-800-543-0480. Huggies are better though, Pampers leak and Luvs are for….well; let’s just say a different kind of baby. Let me know though, because I plan to buy stock in whichever brand you finally decide.
JOHNSON & JOHNSON: No Jeremy…this is not the boat outboard motor company, but they will send you a gift packet and coupons. Call them @1-800-526-3967. But, someday you all will have a great time water skiing together.
EVENFLO: send copies to:
Evenflo
Attn: Multiple Birth Program
1801 Commerce Drive
Piqua, OH 45356
They will send you free bottles. Where they make the real money is in the plastic refills that fit inside these so-called “free bottles”. The refills must cost 25 cents a piece! You’ll have to try out different brands before you’ll find one that both of them like. A little hint – don’t put the nipples in the microwave.
PLAYTEX: SEND COPIES TO:
Playtex Co.
215 College Rd.
Paramus, NJ. 07652
Their phone # is 1-800-222-0453. They will send you a bottle kit. You’ll have to supply your own wine.
FREE DIAPER GENIE: send copies before the little ankle biters are 3 months old to:
Mondial Industries
600 Mondial Parkway
Streetsboro, OH. 44241 Wow! Diaper Genie and it's free! Sounds magical.
THE FIRST YEARS: send copies to:
The First Years
Attn: Multiple Birth Program
1Kiddie Drive (Can you believe that address?)
Avon, MA. 02322
Their phone # is 1-800-533-6708 and they will send you bibs and rattles. If you’re both a little lucky, maybe they'll send something for the babies too.
Welcome to BURLINGTON COAT FACTORY/BABY DEPOT! To receive a multi-birth discount, the items being purchased must be identical and at full price too. Jeesh! This only applies to baby furniture, crib mattresses, strollers, car seats, and "coordinated bedding". What is coordinated bedding for red-heads? Good luck parking and the checkout lines are forever.
BABIES 'R US: They offer 10% off two or more of the same item purchased for example, 2 cribs, 2 bed sets, 2 strollers etc...Go figure...You'd think it would at least be a two for one deal. Oh well, its as good as not paying sales tax.
FREE 1ST CIRCUS TICKETS: go to www.ringling.com for more information. Be sure and take advantage of this great offer! Imagine two little ones, Expo New Mexico, the Flea Market, Tingley, cotton candy, and elephants! Yeah! Keep in mind, this is only available to children that are 12 months or younger. First Lady -send copies to:
Baby's First Circus Program
Feld Entertainment
8607 Westwood Center Drive
Vienna, VA. 22182
JCPENNEY PORTRAIT STUDIO: EMAIL FOR MORE INFO @ www.jcpportraits.com Even though their coupons are limited to one per family, they will make an exception for citizens of Sloansburg because these two intelligent and brilliant athlete's bdays are (hopefully) within 30 days of each other! This job belongs to the Mayor!
I love you both – Dad
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